1. Daddy Has a Yacht…
So get him another one.
Price: €18,000,000 (R200 997 908) – before personal specifications
Why? It will make it much easier for your dad to find a mistress that is younger than you. For that he will be eternally grateful.
The WallyPower 118 is world’s fastest yacht with a maximum speed of 60 knots (70 mph, 110 kph). The WallyPower 118 is propelled by three Vericor TF50 Gas Turbines. Firstly, saying “why yes, it is powered by three Vericor TF50 Gas Turbines” sounds so cool it should be illegal. Secondly, I want you to guess how much power they produce. Wrong, it is an earth shaking 12 527,758 kw (16 800 hp) In perspective, that is 12.5 Bugatti Veyrons or enough to power a medium sized suburb. Never mind all that. Just look at the thing. It makes all those other white yachts look like pussies.
But cant stand slumming it with the commoners in 1st class.
Price (2nd Hand): $36,950,000 (R273 614 758) Price New: POA
Does daddy run a legitimate “import/export” business? Are there always Cuban and Eastern European “businessmen” on his yacht? Is he still slumming it in 1st Class? Well then, the Gulfstream G550 is the perfect Christmas gift! With an industry leading cruise speed of Mach 0.80 at a range of 12,501 km. Lots of storage space out of sight from those pesky customs officials and hand stitched leather upholstery. You will be his favorite kid from his third wife!
2. Daddy has two Ferrari’s…
Now he has a bad back.
Rolls Royce Ghost Numero Uno
Price: €450 000 – (R5 000 705)
If daddy hates the fact the the Rolls Royce Phantom is driven exclusively by rappers. The Rolls Royce Ghost Numero Uno is the perfect gift. As a “respectable businessman” he will take pride in knowing that the Numero Uno makes the “regular” Ghost seem mass produced. The Numero Uno is a personalised version of the Rolls Royce Ghost, built by German Exotic Tuner Deutsche Manufakur – yes, their name in English is “German Factory” WWII jokes aside this is set to be a truly unique town car.
The Numero Uno does something that daddy’s old Ferrari could not. With an electrically operated boot-lid and enough space for five dead bodies and one midget – at a squeeze – you wont only be getting your dad a better back you’ll be making his henchman’s jobs a lot easier. Nothing quite like the gift of giving…
But still fails to excite his mistress
SLR McLaren Stirling Moss
Price: €1 170 000 (R13 001 834)
Why will it make daddies “special friend” drop her panties? Well it is named in honor of legendary British Racing driver Sir Stirling Moss. Arguably the greatest racing driver of the century. Second to being a firemen, being a racing driver is the sexiest job in the world, end of story.
The facts: The SLR Stirling Moss is the last of the SLR range from Mercedes to be produced. It reaches 100kph in a mind-bending 3.5 sec and tops off at an insane 350kph. It will get you to your yacht in no time. On the other hand, it will kill you. Either way, it will make the hair on the back of of your neck stand up when you see this thing.
3. Daddy Has a Porsche…
But still rocks a Nokia 6210
Tag Heuer Meridist
Price: Starts at R48 000
The starting price is a loose estimate. This cell phone is completely customizable to your specifications, that means two things. One, it can reach astronomical prices. Two, You can choose to have the whole thing done in gold – to match daddies two front teeth. As a piece of engineering one has to marvel at the sheer build quality of the Meridiist. No other cell phone comes vaguely close. Not even the Vertu.
BTW if I missed anything awesome please let me know!
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